A.A. Divorces
by Orange

One of the problems with Alcoholics Anonymous is that it breaks up marriages and increases the divorce rate of its members.

A.A. literature says just the opposite, that divorces in A.A. are "rare", but that is a lie, pure and simple.

Permanent marriage breakups and separations, however, are unusual in A.A.
Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, William G. Wilson, page 117.

The following letters tell a very different story.

  1. Psychology Today magazine reported that A.A. has a 25% divorce rate in the first year when one partner joins Alcoholics Anonymous. That is sky-high.

  2. "her sponsor forbid her from seeing me for thirty days... and at the end of the 30 days I was told by my now ex that I could never talk to her again".

  3. It is being strongly "suggested" that she cut all ties with me. Really? Even she can't make sense of this one. I can, because it smacks of 12 step indoctrination. Why would you cut someone out of your life you know you can count on?

  4. They actually encourage the break up of marriages and relationships if the spouse or partner is not in aa.

  5. She said that she was so committed to AA, that she divorced her husband of 20+ years because he complained that AA was more important to her than he was. It was! I found this shocking and COMPLETELY SELFISH.

  6. The A.A. Big Book approves of divorce, in spit of denying it in a classic example of reversal of reality..

  7. In the Big Book, Bill Wilson even gave us good old boys instructions on how to cheat on our wives and get away with it.

  8. In the Big Book, Bill Wilson declared that the alcoholic's wife must learn that A.A. comes before her, and if she won't learn her place, then the marriage should end.

  9. Telling a wife to divorce her alcoholic husband

  10. ...we are getting divorced, and I think it all comes down to her sponsor and AA indoctrination...

  11. More on how Bill Wilson approved of A.A. divorces.

  12. the AA part is what has ultimately broken us up.

  13. My wife is in AA, she is lost in the cult and I feel quite lost, she's been brainwashed.

  14. any chance this relationship can survive with her in AA and me not?.

  15. And this discussion of divorce statistics.

  16. It isn't just a matter of "somebody needs to change". It is also a matter of, "She isn't one of us. She won't go to Al-Anon and get with the program. She is dangerous to your sobriety. Dump her and get an A.A. girlfriend."

  17. I've switched to past tense because that's what my 30 year marriage is — past. Our divorce was finalized 09/26/10, and Al-Anon played a big part in destroying it. I find it quite ironic that, Al-Anon, a group dedicated to helping relationships & families, uses insidious and unethical ways to end them.

  18. A second letter from Nancy: Her Al-Anon-indoctrinated and -isolated husband wrote, before divorcing her: "I'm grateful for the freedom I have found to invest in prime relationships since limiting my exposure to my family and friends."

  19. My husband has changed, since his indoctrination into AA five years ago, into a person I truly don't know.

  20. Thanks AA for helping alcoholics have their marriages torn asunder

  21. I have been sober and clean for 25+ yrs. I had it made or I should say we had it made till my wife decided to get a sponsor.

  22. The Midtown Group encouraged a policeman's wife to cheat on her husband and to divorce him.

  23. Another relationship destroyed by N.A. Please be wary of the sexual, social cult.

  24. rehab romance destroys relationship

  25. a discussion of how treatment centers destroy relationships

  26. The end result was my husband was berated and yelled at by his sponsor in a meeting room and basically told him to tell me to keep my mouth shut that I didn't know anything about this program and I was an outsider... he's not only stopped drinking, he's stopped living.

  27. And there is also the matter of members being encouraged to leave their partners and go with someone on the program. You are told, it is just easier to go with someone on the program who understands you. All those outside of AA are called normies in a very condescending way.

  28. The AA Cult has absorbed my wife into its fold.

  29. "Dump your spouse and marry the A.A. group, because A.A. is The Only Way."

  30. Well I met a girl in the program, we started dating, having a rather good time, till my sponsor, 11 yrs in the program, invited her over to his house, while I was working and seduced her, with this 'spiritual enlightenment', saying things like I was still sick, and I shouldn't be in a relationship.

  31. AA is most def a cult. No interest in helping those that seek help, but to make them co-def assholes. So angry. Need a self help group for those who had the misfortune of falling in love with an AA cult member.

  32. A year and a half ago he got involved in AA. He has stopped drinking but the teachings of AA and his over-involvement with AA is ruining our marriage. Since he found AA our life together has been a living nightmare.

  33. My old friends, who were part of the 5% success rate and now active, prominent members of AA, brought me to meetings again and suggested I dump my boyfriend. After all, I was working the program, and he obviously wasn't. His disease was going to get me!

  34. Yolanda 1: ...he's hardly at home when I get home from work he's gone, he eats dinner at his group because they take turns at taking dinner for eveyone, he said they told him it's ok if he doesn't eat with his family...

  35. Yolanda 2: they started showing a video of a new 18 year old girl that had just came in to the group and they said she was going to be one of the sponsor's girlfriend "the sponsor is 38 years old"

  36. " I have been trying to get sober in AA for 16 years but it has never worked and I have such low self esteem now.   ...   I wish I'd never gone in the first place   ...   my husband says whenever I go to AA it causes so much trouble at home as they tell me to leave him as he drinks."

  37. I have recently been devastated by losing my manpanion to AA. My newly sober, confused and scared fiancee was told by his old-timer sponsor that we must break up.

  38. Thanks, Man...but it looks like it's too late. Though I don't know if the divorce is a result of Al-Anon. I have to wonder, though.

  39. ...after about a week they told her I was a trigger? Even though I don't smoke any sort of drugs and only drink socially. They then went as far as saying sex and even seeing me was a trigger and to leave me asap.

  40. my boyfriend of 10 years just recently left me after i stood by him during all the hard times.. na convinced him i was a trigger for him and i have never done drugs in my life nor am i a drinker.

Search the Orange Papers

Click Fruit for Menu

Last updated 31 October 2017.
The most recent version of this file can be found at http://www.orange-papers.org/orange-divorce.html

Copyright © 2019, A. Orange