Question to non-drinkers re: forgetting

justme's picture
Submitted by justme on Sun, 04/01/2012 - 13:18

Why does a person who drinks too much forget the pain and sickness of the hangover? I would seriously like to know the answer to this. Is it something psychological? The person drinks, feels great when they're drinking, then the next day they're sick and it's awful! Later on, the person feels better so they want to drink again, apparently forgetting how awful it made them feel just hours earlier.

I'm not looking for AA answers. I don't care one iota about AA. I'm looking for REAL scientific answers to this question. Has anybody done any research about this phenomena? It seems to me that if the person REMEMBERED, he/she wouldn't drink too much the next time, or would decide not to drink at all. Thanks for your answers and/or directing me to information. I'm interested in learning. - JM

Comments

Persephone In Exile's picture

Persephone In Exile

Mon, 04/02/2012 - 10:39

That was my problem, Dorak. I just felt shitty. Admittedly, I had other issues at play, but that was still a lot of it. One thing I did on my own was just working on gratification delaying techniques. I didn't do that for "recovery" or anything, nor at the suggestion of anyone else, I just started doing it. Refusing anything that was instant gratification and working toward more long term goals. In general, again, not to do with addiction issues. And not that policing myself in the 12 step voice in my head sort of way either, just pacing myself in a different way. It ended up fixing a LOT of the problems I used to have by just changing my mindset.

I wish I could be more specific and offer more help, but I hope that helps at least a little bit.

http://badrecovery.blogspot.com/

dorak nob's picture

dorak nob

Mon, 04/02/2012 - 11:03

thanks so much Perephone, I really appreciate your insight. it does help.

Persephone In Exile's picture

Persephone In Exile

Mon, 04/02/2012 - 12:40

No problem.

I stay pretty active these days personally, so being messed up in any way would be a major detriment to my overall lifestyle now. I also fight train now though, and being less than top of my game would be extremely, extremely bad for me in class. But boils down to the same thing, my priorities are rearranged so much now that getting all messed up is not an option. It's not something I did to get clean either, but it keeps me from doing pretty much anything that would be unhealthy.

http://badrecovery.blogspot.com/

JR Harris's picture

JR Harris

Sun, 04/01/2012 - 19:12

"Sometimes it is wise to wait till he goes on a binge. " BB p.90, Working With Others
"If he shows interest, lend him your copy of this book. " BB p.94, Working With Others

"But after his next binge, ask him if he would really like to get over drinking for good. " BB p.112, To Wives
"Show him your copy of this book and tell him what you have found out about alcoholism." BB p.112, To Wives

"Tradition 10 - Alcoholics Anonymous has no opinion on outside issues; hence the AA name ought never be drawn into public controversy." Please follow orders from the Interchurch Center if you are an AA member and don't comment.

dorak nob's picture

dorak nob

Sun, 04/01/2012 - 19:24

JR you have one twisted sense of humor

avogadno's picture

avogadno

Sun, 04/01/2012 - 19:25

If you starve a person long enough they'll admit to anything.

Do you watch HomeLand JR? POW from Iraq comes home but some in the CIA think he turned. First season is over but I'm on only the 5th episode. He apparently has gone through some intense brainwashing and torture.

Pro Empowerment!
Truth about AA: http://orange-papers.org/menu1.html
Expose AA: http://www.expaa.org/

billybudd

Sun, 04/01/2012 - 19:50

You can't leave be obsessive advocacy for one thread?! Incorrigible step-monkey, tsk tsk.

alkieanon's picture

alkieanon

Wed, 05/02/2012 - 21:59

For all your gaslighting needs: Strickland Propane. "Taste the meat, not the heat."
http://stricklandpropane.net

justme's picture

justme

Sun, 04/01/2012 - 21:34

I'm feeling much better than when I posted this question this morning..... but... just read on FB that a lady who I went to HS with has died. Lung cancer. And here I sit smoking another cigarette. What an idiot I am. And I'm having a drink because I want to because I have such a hard time handling the news of death, despite the fact that I haven't been in contact with her for many years. Still. Someone died. And I'm sad. I'm on the list somewhere. It'll be my turn eventually.

Peace and love to all of you. However you all do it, I'm in awe. I can't figure out how to get through life without a couple of bad habits.

On another thread, someone asked whether they felt alone or not. I can't remember who it was. I didn't reply to it because my reply would have sounded like such a pity party. I feel so very alone. Totally alone.

avogadno's picture

avogadno

Mon, 04/02/2012 - 06:10

Justme I'm sorry to hear of your friend. Unfortunately it's these bad habits that so many of us use to cope with life, such as tragedies we have to face. Perhaps you have realized one of the reasons why it is you keep deciding to take a drink. Learning other ways to cope could be worthwhile to you. I believe we all have something, though we may not even know what they are. Replacing the drinking with something else isn’t wrong, as long as it doesn’t hurt you or others. Perhaps explore these options and try using them.
I wish you the best.

Pro Empowerment!
Truth about AA: http://orange-papers.org/menu1.html
Expose AA: http://www.expaa.org/

justme's picture

justme

Mon, 04/02/2012 - 09:56

Avo, thanks. I didn't really know her other than in school many years ago. It's a facing-mortality event. I'm getting older. Another person I knew in school who is my age died this past year, also. You're right. I know there are other ways to cope. I didn't overdo it or anything. Just had one drink last night. But still. Is it necessary? I don't know. It's more of a lifestyle being-as-healthy-as-I can-be issue that I'm working on. Maybe I should have gone for a walk or taken a hot bath instead. *smile* Thanks very much for caring and for your kind words.

avogadno's picture

avogadno

Mon, 04/02/2012 - 16:07

I don't want to butt in. I don't know you or your past, so I'm throwing this out there.
If you only had one drink last night, why are you "upset" about it? It's a drink, it's legal, many have one in the evening. Especially after a hard day. In most societies this isn't even given a second thought. I’m not trying to push you into drinking, lol. I’m really just wondering if you’re putting too much pressure on yourself.

It's surely not necessary, since you asked. But, it's also not necessary that you feel "guilty" for it either. Are you caught up in recovery thought? Or did you set yourself a boundary and feel badly for crossing it?
I'm just curious....Peace :)

Pro Empowerment!
Truth about AA: http://orange-papers.org/menu1.html
Expose AA: http://www.expaa.org/

justme's picture

justme

Mon, 04/02/2012 - 17:16

But the night before I drank way too much which prompted me to post the question about forgetting. I spent the entire day "recovering"... then I felt better... and I seemed to forget about the fricking hangover, heard someone died, poured another drink. I don't feel at all guilty about it. No. I actually don't feel guilty about having drank too much the night before either. LOL. It IS legal. That's right. Just want to get healthier, that's all, and I get pissed off at myself when I have a hangover. Hope this makes sense. As I said, I don't know how people live their lives with such restrictions. I'm hanging out here on this site as part of my research into getting healthier. *smile* ;)

Clara's picture

Clara

Mon, 04/02/2012 - 06:28

Why would it be self pity? A lot of people feel alone in addiction. Human emotions are fine. It's staying in the negative ones that isn't.

Remember Christopher Stevens when you vote.

justme's picture

justme

Mon, 04/02/2012 - 09:48

I'm not "alone in addiction". I'm just alone. It has nothing to do with addiction. It has to do with being at home alone a lot. And it's not a negative emotion. It's not an emotion at all. It's just a fact.

gigi

Mon, 04/02/2012 - 13:05

I know that place well. Sometimes being home alone is just a fact and sometimes it's a frightening state of being. There are days when I absolutely love being utterly and completely alone in my house. It can be a beautiful thing. There have been (many) other times when ALONE IN MY HOUSE is a pair of giant hands reaching out to suffocate me. The fact of being home alone doesn't change. The way I perceive my circumstance (alone or lonely, solitude or isolation) changes based on whatever the hell is going on in my life or my head at any given moment. Sometimes we can't change the fact that we are alone. But I believe it's imperative that we find a way not to be lonely. Maybe internet communication isn't the ideal; but it's something. Whatever it is for you that gets you out of that "I'm alone" feeling remains to be seen. I have no doubt that you'll find it if you keep asking questions and opening yourself up to whatever possibilities exist.
* And I really need to quit smoking too. Stupid habit.*

"If I forget who I am, I am myself. If I remember who I am, I am you."

justme's picture

justme

Mon, 04/02/2012 - 14:15

But not THIS much of it! haha! It's my fault. I need to get out of the house. I'm grateful for the internet but in a way it ties me more to the house because it's a safe, easier, way to communicate with people. Yeah, let's stop smoking, ok? You go first. Inspire me. *smile*

Pennywise's picture

Pennywise

Mon, 04/02/2012 - 14:22

Do you like animals? Maybe a dog? If so, and it is compatible with your living situation, a dog can be a great companion in itself and it can also be a great motivator to get out of the house and maybe meet people in a non-drinking environment. My dog would not ALLOW me to sit in the house ALL day long.

"Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid."

justme's picture

justme

Mon, 04/02/2012 - 14:26

I'm not really a dog person. I like gardening. Thankfully, spring is here! I worked in the garden a few days ago and felt fabulous during and afterward. Garden therapy, I call it. And there's much more work to do out there. Need to get to it! I do need to think of ways to meet people. I've been searching on meetup.com for months for something that fits my interests but isn't too far away. Haven't found anything yet. I may start my own group on there. There ARE people here sometimes... just not very often. Thanks, Pennywise. It's nice to know people care. I appreciate it.

Pennywise's picture

Pennywise

Mon, 04/02/2012 - 06:35

No one is alone on the Orange Papers forum;)

"Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid."

justme's picture

justme

Mon, 04/02/2012 - 09:51

Most of my contact with other human beings is online (this site and several others). I'm glad the internet exists but there's something unnatural about it. Though it connects people, it's also quite socially isolating. I need to do something about it. Working on that. Thanks for your kindness. :)

dolson's picture

dolson

Mon, 04/02/2012 - 12:43

JM you seem very depressed. Not just over an old school friend's death, but in your life in general. Give it some thought, you may need some medical attention, or perhaps not.

Quit smoking - soon. Then worry about the other 'vices' in your life. Those cigarettes are going to bury you. I quit years ago, and I'm glad I did.

Remember the words of Jimmy the Cricket - "I'm no fool, no siree, I'm gonna live to be a hundred and three."

Go ahead, enjoy yourselves - it's getting late, much later than you think.

justme's picture

justme

Mon, 04/02/2012 - 14:22

I suspect I am depressed. Good observation. No, I won't take those anti-depressant lala drugs. I hate those freaking things! They have terrible side effects. I just need to get more active. Lost my job over a year ago. At my age, this is huge! Can't find work in this economy. Stupid world runs on money. Going to have to change careers, I guess. I may have to sell my house. It's just a difficult time, that's all. Life goes on. Getting healthy is high on my list of priorities. Hard to break a habit like smoking when so much is going on but you're right, I should do that. Thanks for caring. I'm glad you stopped smoking, too. What a stupid, ugly, expensive habit. And it's more addictive than cocaine.

dorak nob's picture

dorak nob

Mon, 04/02/2012 - 16:01

i had quit smoking for 30 years then started again in rehab, nothing else to do, hey at least you still have a house. and if you can sell it that might be a good thing. I lost mine in foreclosure also bankruptcy thats how ended up in aa , and all the drugs the psych doc's gave me just made me feel worse, the best thing I did was quit smoking get off most of the psych drugs and quit going to aa. do what you need to, get out , fresh air..

Ironic's picture

Ironic

Sun, 04/01/2012 - 21:59

weed>alcohol

think it over :)

justme's picture

justme

Sun, 04/01/2012 - 22:00

wish it were legal. it's really STUPID that it's not.

justme's picture

justme

Mon, 04/02/2012 - 09:45

.....

Ironic's picture

Ironic

Mon, 04/02/2012 - 15:15

You mentioned you like gardening? Who cares if weed is legal when you can grow it privately in your own home? If I had my own place, I'd sure save a lot of $ (on weed lol not much else).

justme's picture

justme

Mon, 04/02/2012 - 17:12

I'd have to garden inside. Nosy neighbors. heh ;)

dolson's picture

dolson

Mon, 04/02/2012 - 16:14

Practice safe weed smoking. Use a vaporizer.

Go ahead, enjoy yourselves - it's getting late, much later than you think.

Clara's picture

Clara

Mon, 04/02/2012 - 17:19

Isn't that less effective? Granted, I have no personal experience other than my mmj experience with Spike. But we made his an infusion of coconut oil and bud and then shot it in his mouth.

Remember Christopher Stevens when you vote.

Ironic's picture

Ironic

Tue, 04/03/2012 - 17:24

Are often shitty and less potent, because most people don't know the proper temperature and either don't burn it enough or end up just smoking it. There are a few high quality vapes that are really awesome. I want a Magic Flight Launch Box so bad!

Coconut oil is more effective than butter because it has a higher fat content. I actually have a little mj coconut oil still in the fridge back from when I had my wisdom teeth taken out.

Justme, you can certainly grow inside! My ex grew 4 plants inside and got a few ounces.

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